Being a personal assistant

Debbie Barisano says becoming a personal assistant let her discover a profession she loves. Read more.

Cathy Ludlum’s whole world opened up for her after she began hiring personal assistants. Read more.

What it means to be a personal assistant

Debbie Barisano says becoming a personal assistant let her discover a profession she loves. This is her story:

For twenty-five years I worked in a high paying job as a computer programmer, but I was not happy. The job was very stressful and I was sick a lot. I had volunteered for two organizations working with people with disabilities, and I wanted to find a job in that area where I would be happy going to work every day.

I decided to enroll at Manchester (CT) Community College in the Disability Specialist Program. One day Cathy, a woman with a severe physical disability, came to my class and spoke about her life. She mentioned that she needed a personal assistant. I was interested, but at the same time I was scared. I had never done anything like that. I waited a month before calling Cathy, but I found out the first night that there was no reason to be nervous. She explained everything and I fell in love with the job. I have worked for Cathy since 1999, and I have loved going into work every day. In my first two years, I had only had two sick days, and I stopped needing some medications since I became a personal assistant.

I have had to make some sacrifices in order to work full time as a personal assistant. I moved into a smaller place in affordable housing, and I do not have extra spending money any more. I also do not have any health benefits. But I would not trade my new profession for the extra money.

The relationship between a personal assistant and an employer is unique. It is rewarding knowing that I am supporting Cathy so she can live an independent life like everyone else. I think the hardest part of being a personal assistant is the emotional side of the job. Cathy and I have developed a good working relationship, but we have also become good friends. Sometimes it is hard to see her struggle with obstacles in her life. Knowing that I can be there to support her is wonderful.

I may have opened doors for Cathy, but Cathy has also opened doors for me. She has taught me to be confident in myself, and has introduced me to many contacts who will be important in my future. I have been advocating for the profession of personal assistance with state legislators and agencies. I have started a new organization, the Connecticut Association of Personal Assistants, to provide a support system for personal assistants and to educate the public about our profession.

What having a personal assistant means to someone with a disability

Cathy Ludlum says her whole world opened up after she began hiring personal assistants. This is her story:

But I knew that my mother would not be able to support me forever. I also knew that if I wanted to move into my own home, I would need to find other people to assist me with all the things I could not do for myself. At first I was terrified. It seemed an incredible risk to entrust my survival, my personal space, my van, and intimate knowledge about my life to people I did not know.

Soon, however, I learned that I could find good, dependable people to work for me. Since I understood what I needed, the most important thing was to find people who were willing to listen to my directions. Further, by spreading out my support needs among more people, I was safer than when I was relying on only one person.

Then a funny thing happened. After so many years of having my mother know literally everything I did, I started having a life that was truly my own. My assistant could come in, wash my hair, change my clothes, and take me out in my van, and my mother didn’t have to be involved at all!

As my career expanded, I was invited to travel and speak about what I was learning. Personal assistants went with me. They supported me in airplanes, in hotels, and at conferences, as well as doing sightseeing. I was far from home, and far from Mom; but I was safe, independent, and happy because of the excellent support of my assistants.

When I moved into my own home in 1992, it became especially important that I hire personal assistants who were reliable, and who would enjoy being part of my life. People who thought of it simply as a "job" usually moved on after a year or two. But those who really understood the importance of what they were doing often stayed five years or more. Some even became lifelong friends.

The whole world opened up for me when I started hiring personal assistants. Without their commitment and support, I could not have an active and independent life.