After a lifetime of caregiving, a seemingly small but perhaps significant incident makes you wonder: are they getting needier or am I just more exhausted? Is it time to bring in help?
In addition to being Director of Strategy and Communications at Family Voices, an organization focused on healthcare policy for children with special healthcare needs, Nikki Montgomery, M.A., M.Ed., GPAC has a 13-year-old son with complex medical needs. She says many caregivers delay support until it’s unsustainable.
“Sometimes care can get harder over time,” she says. “When I think of my situation with my son, his physical care actually is harder because he is 13 years old and requires someone to move him from one place to another because he doesn’t walk. So, if he wants to go from his wheelchair to his bed, that is a physical lift I have to make. That is a sign.”
Five Common Reasons to Hire a Caregiver:
Safety is an Issue
An exhausted caregiver cannot provide the best and safest care. Consider the safety of the caregiver as well as the person being cared for.
You’re Doing It Alone
If you are struggling alone to provide care, it may be time to bring in help.
Care Needs are Increasing
Montgomery thinks of the increasingly acute physical needs for her son’s care. As your loved one ages or their condition becomes more complex, their care demands may exceed what one person can safely provide.
You’re Losing Sleep
If you are not getting adequate rest for extended periods, it compromises your ability to care for yourself and others. This is a red flag.
Your Mental Health is Declining
If you’re feeling burnt out, irritable, or overwhelmed, it’s a sign you're stretched too thin and need support.
Affordable Ways to Find Help
If hiring a caregiver, even for a few hours a week, seems out of reach, Montgomery suggests these options as a good place to start:
- Use well-known resources. Rewarding Work, the first web-based matching service directory in the nation to focus exclusively on assisting people of all ages with disabilities, helps families find and hire caregivers in Massachusetts, Connecticut and Kansas.
- Check out local day programs for people with disabilities or special healthcare needs.
- Contact area colleges. Students studying social work, nursing, physical or occupational therapy may be looking for a part-time job that provides real-world experience.
- Review insurance benefits. Whether you have a private or public plan, your insurance may offer some coverage for in-home care.
Montgomery believes that many families put off conversations about caregivers for too long. “They wait until there has been a safety incident or sometimes a physical incident where they are harmed in some way,” she says. “People often stall out because the resources are not easily available. They just plod on through and deal with it. If you’re the parent of someone who requires that level of care, you may feel like this is your parenting duty … and move through it without realizing there are additional supports you can and should seek.”
Carmina Cirioli, Co-Executive Director of Connecticut-based PATH, which provides support to families who have a child with developmental or health-related needs, emphasizes: “One thing we always stress is self-care,” says Cirioli. She recommends asking simple but effective questions to help families understand their own needs.
Questions to Ask Yourself as a Family Caregiver
- Are you feeling burned out or stressed?
- Is caregiving affecting your work or daily functioning? Are you becoming overwhelmed?
- Are your loved one’s needs growing beyond your training or physical ability?
“Another concern is the financial piece,” Cirioli adds. “Hiring a caregiver can become costly. Is this something you can afford? How many hours are you looking for? Reach out to state agencies to see what is out there that you may qualify for.”
How to Start the Search for a Caregiver
Hiring a caregiver is a big step but ultimately supports both you and your loved one. Visit RewardingWork.org to search for caregivers in your area and learn more about state programs in their partner states of CT, KS and MA.
Looking for guidance on what to ask a potential caregiver? Read our blog: 12 Questions to Ask Before Hiring a Caregiver.