Leading Caregiver Influencers Share Creative Ideas for Gifts and Gratuities
Your mail carrier, housekeeper, hair stylist, babysitter—when you are making a list for holiday gratuities or gifts, most people would put the caregiver for a family member near the top. How can you show appreciation on a tight budget? Is there such a thing as too generous? RewardingWork asked experts in the caregiving profession to think outside the box and offer some creative ideas.
Personal Gifts with a Purpose
“I would say start by looking at what interests or hobbies a caregiver has,” says Kansas parent Gina Ervay whose experience has included respite administration:
- For a caregiver into health and fitness, a water bottle personalized with their name and a meaningful, personalized saying.
- For gardening fans, a pair of gloves, seeds, or tools “with a note thanking them for helping their loved one bloom.”
Positive Approach to Care® founder Teepa Snow, MS, OTR/L, FAOTA recommendations range from practical to more personal:
- transportation assistance, home repairs, or childcare
- prepared or purchased meals for the freezer
- a crossword puzzle book, a magazine or online subscription
- a handwritten letter, music playlist, handcrafted item, or personalized photo slideshow
Meaningful Gifts You Can Afford
“I believe gifts should be meaningful and not expensive,” says blogger Donna Thomson (The Caregivers’ Living Room), the mother of two grown children, one with severe cerebral palsy and medical complexity. “The worst thing would be to make a caregiver feel uncomfortable because he or she might not be in a position to reciprocate.” Donna also helped care for her mother who lived with dementia until the age of 96. She is the co-author of The Unexpected Journey of Caring: The Transformation of Loved One to Caregiver (2019) and author of The Four Walls of My Freedom: Lessons I’ve Learned from a Life of Caregiving (2010, 2014). Donna’s family gives a card with a heartfelt note of thanks to occasional caregivers and gifts to those with whom they are especially close. She is also a big believer in personalized gifts:
- One caregiver's son has leukemia, so they gave a donation to a charity in her grandson's name
- Another has 3 busy teenagers at home so we gave her home baked goods
- Lottery tickets (“the scratch games are fun and sometimes there are Christmas themed ones”)
Gifts from the Heart
For Kate Clark of Deaconess Abundant Life Communities in Massachusetts, “A great way to express thankfulness is a homemade gift or card - caregivers love to receive notes from the families and clients with personalized anecdotes.” Kate’s other recommendations include:
- Grocery and gas gift cards
- Anything warm: sweater, blanket, gloves, scarf, hat, long sleeved shirts
Pennsylvania-based lawyer Cathy Sikorski, an expert on work-life balance and family caregiving whose books include Who Moved My Teeth? and 12 Conversations: How to Talk to Almost Anyone About Long-Term Care Planning, suggests “the gift of time. Remember when you gave your mom ‘coupons’ for washing dishes or washing the car? How about the same for a caregiver? An afternoon off? A coffee break with me and I'll get us a paid caregiver for a few hours? A walk in the park with you or without you while you stay with their loved one? A library card and the afternoon to browse for some books?"
Cathy recommends that you give what you can afford. If you are in charge of your loved ones’ finances, she says, “it's perfectly legitimate if the circumstances allow that this comes out of their money and not yours.” Other ideas from Cathy include:
- Homemade baked goods
- A paid day off
- Coffee, grocery or gas card
Jennifer L. FitzPatrick, MSW, LCSW-C, CSP author of Cruising through Caregiving and Reimagining Customer Service in Healthcare, recommends that cash gratuities be represented as a “holiday bonus.” For inspiration in selecting presents, she says, “Think about what you know about the caregiver. Does the caregiver have a favorite pet, sports team, food?” Consignment and thrift shops are often a good source of inexpensive personalized gifts as well as:
- Homemade baked goods, blankets, or other personalized handcrafts
- Coffee, tea, gourmet snacks
- Books, candles
- Subscriptions to a streaming app
AARP National Family and Caregiving Expert Amy Goyer has guidance for gifts (monetary and other). For those who want to give a holiday bonus, they could write a check for the same amount as one session or visit. If that is outside their budget, $100 is fine. She has also recommended:
- A gift card for a massage, manicure or any other self-care option
- Earrings, Christmas decorations
- Gift cards for shops or restaurants where they frequent
Finally, from a land down under, Australian author and inspirational speaker Lorraine Kember —known worldwide for sharing her firsthand experience as a cancer caregiver—is another believer in the gift of time. “Offer to go shopping for them, pick up their dry cleaning, walk their dog, mow their lawn or weed their garden, do some housework,” she says. More tangible ideas include:
- Flowers
- Scented candles
- Scarf
Before You Give…
The holidays provide an excellent opportunity to give back to your caregiver. Our experts advise being mindful of any restrictions from private or government agencies:
Kate Clark notes that many organizations have guidelines for how much clients and caregivers can accept - usually under $50. “Calling the organization directly is the best way for families to make sure there are no repercussions regarding caregiver's accepting gifts,” she says.
Teepa Snow mentions the documentation required by Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS), the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), and private companies that have specific rules about gift giving and receiving.
Gina Ervay says that families who rely on government assistance should check on the rules of a particular agency—say, Medicare. Many home care agencies have restrictions regarding accepting cash or limiting gifts, while conflict-of-interest protections and ethical concerns may include dependency, favoritism, and financial exploitation.
Jennifer L. FitzPatrick reminds gift givers that many organizations direct generous family members to an organization-wide appreciation fund which often is applied toward prizes, bonuses, and parties.
Rewarding Work’s Experts:
Gina Ervay
Teepa Snow
Donna Thomson
Kate Clark
Cathy Sikorski
Jennifer L. FitzPatrick
Amy Goyer
Lorraine Kember
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