By Andy Levinsky
When I imagine the ideal caregiver for my nonagenarian mom, I think about the way a colleague described staff who are amply qualified on paper but not always a good match. “They’re never going to be harmful to anybody or not do what they’re supposed to do but it’s very clinical,” explains Assistant Director of Creative Living Options at Toward Independent Living and Learning (TILL, Inc.) Jane Pfeiffer. “‘I just show up, I do this, I do that.’ They don’t really interact that much or have fun. And that’s what you want to see.”
A caring and actively engaged caregiver was certainly what I was looking for, but I had no idea where to find them. I began searching for caregivers to provide round-the-clock coverage with a non-profit home-care agency. I was impressed with many of their staff, both administrators and practitioners. The agency was usually able to fill scheduling gaps with little notice, and they removed the handful of caregivers who were not a good fit from the schedule. What they couldn’t offer was consistency, so I was constantly training new staff and, more importantly, my mom was rarely able to form bonds that promote companionship.
Next, I began seeking professionals who work independently and found a few gems who became fixtures in my mom’s life, but it took me a while to get to this point. The answer, it turned out, was literally one door down. I work for Toward Independent Living and Learning (TILL, Inc.), a Massachusetts-based agency with a search tool called Rewarding Work, a specialized online directory and job board that connects users with local caregivers.
I shelled out ten bucks (same deal for you) which gave me access to their up-to-date applicant directory and enabled me to post my job. Within hours, I heard from interested and available candidates and received my first applications.
I selected three candidates for interviews, first on the phone, then with my mom in person. All had stellar credentials but we both chose a 38-year-old woman named Beth who has all but adopted my mom. Beth handles all of the physical challenges from bathing to exercise and meds with confidence that comes from experience. The “value-added” is reports of their Scrabble games, their meals together which Beth prepares with care, the fresh flowers she brings, their walks and talks. Just walking in and hearing them both cracking each other up makes my day.
The Health Benefits of Quality Caregiving Relationships
For my mom, whose physical limitations often left her socially isolated, the community her caregivers provide isn’t just heartwarming; it is essential to her cognitive health. Numerous studies link lack of social interaction with an increased risk of developing dementia, including Alzheimer's disease. Before her caregivers became part of her routine, my mom rarely wore her hearings aids, (another habit associated with cognitive decline). With relatively little interaction, it was hard to blame her. Now, she has a compelling reason to wear them.
Your needs and expectations for caregivers may be completely different. Your loved one may already be surrounded by friends, but they may need:
- Help avoiding physical dangers like falls and other injuries at home
- Assistance with daily tasks like cooking, cleaning, and laundry
- Companionship to reduce loneliness and provide emotional support
- Medication reminders and help managing health routines at home
- Short-term or respite care for when a family caregiver needs a break
Independent Caregivers: What Worked for Our Family
For my family, the deeper demands of the role required a patchwork of solutions. We hired several agency caregivers who struck out on their own and solicited word-of-mouth recommendations before I “found” our most successful tool, RewardingWork.org, in my own backyard. The website is essentially a search engine and job board, not an employment agency, so candidates are not pre-screened. But for long-term caregivers, we would always contact references and do a background check on our own anyway, and Rewarding Work provides plenty of D.I.Y. guidance.
Ultimately, the arrangement we opted for is a kind of hybrid. We have built an A-team of regulars but reserve a few hours for the agency so that we maintain the connection if we need back-up help. For us, it’s the best of all worlds. The only problem for my mom is one less excuse not to wear her hearing aids.